do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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