just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
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I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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