I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
