no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
