What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
