He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
