thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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