We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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