And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets start a swedish sibling band together
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
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