i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
