How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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