She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
