Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
