...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Couch. On fire.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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