I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
