Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
