i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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