bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
