in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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