Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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