Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
