Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
