sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
