marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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