I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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