ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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