His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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