I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
