god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm always down for nudity.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize