i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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