Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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