we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
