Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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