i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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