I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
