we have officially lost it.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
