Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
