All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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