Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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