i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
