My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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