Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she smelled like a LAN party
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
