Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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