whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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