she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
