You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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