so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
