big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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