my mouth tastes like poor choices
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
