Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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