they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
