True but thats because hes a fetus.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
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He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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