I heard we made out
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Randomize
