we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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