on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Only a mothe r could love this liver
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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