i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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