Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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