chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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