Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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