The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
