it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
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please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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