My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
