Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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